Sunday:
Throughout my pregnancy, I was nervous that I wouldn’t know I was in labor. You hear these horror stories where the mom gives birth in the toilet or something like that, and so I kept asking people what contractions feel like. No one could really give me an answer which was annoying.
On June 18th, my stomach was feeling tight. I wasn’t experiencing any pain, but I could tell that my tummy muscles around my baby bump were doing something. We went to church that day and I chatted with a girl that I hadn’t really spoken to before. I explained my symptoms to her, and she said, “You might be in labor!” We went to bed that night and i woke up at 11:30pm with what felt like period cramps in my low abdomen below my belly. Yep, I was in labor! I picked up my phone and saw a text from my mom; she had texted me while I was asleep with something along the lines of, “Call me any time during the night if anything happens.” We had been wondering when she should come down because I wanted her there for the delivery, but it’s hard to plan a trip like that when you live a 12 hour drive away.
Monday:
My mom packed her bags and drove down on Monday morning. I was already on maternity leave and had been for a week I believe. Jeremy stayed home from work/school in his phd at Stanford to stay with me while I was in labor. I was able to walk around and talk etc, but the contractions were definitely painful. My mom arrived in her car on Monday night.
Tuesday:
I already had a midwife appointment scheduled for this day, so we went in to see the midwife. She was not my favorite. Jeremy came with me into the appointment and my mom waited in the waiting room. The midwife asked me if I had had any contractions yet and I told her yes. She asked me if I wanted her to check to see how much I was dilated. I said yes, and she put her gloves on and was about to check me. Jeremy stopped her and said, “Have you ever been checked to see how much you’re dilated?” I said no, and he asked, “Do you want to know what she’s going to do?” I said yes (thank goodness for Jeremy) and she explained how it would work. It was uncomfortable but not painful. I was dilated at 1.5 cm, so she told me to just go home.
I was in labor in this photo!
Jeremy and I met up with my mom, and I decided I wanted to do a lot of walking to do what I can to help labor along. I didn’t feel rushed or stressed, I felt like the baby would come when he was ready. We walked across the street and went to chili’s. I ate the most delicious wonton salad.
Wednesday:
I was still having contractions at home. My mom and I walked to downtown Menlo Park and to the library. My stomach would get all crampy and I continued to have contractions but I just kept going to do what I could to help the labor. I sat on a bouncy ball because it was the most comfortable place to sit at that point, as my legs could spread wide apart with my belly in the middle. My contractions continued to get more and more intense.
In the evening they were starting to get more and more painful, and I would have to stop our conversations to breathe through them. I would hum/moan during contractions because the vibrations it caused in my chest made the contractions hurt less. I would sit in my living room either on the bouncy ball or on the office chair and chat with my mom and husband and pause the conversation every so often to breathe through a contraction.
I had read a book that talked about “feeling the edge” of the pain of the contractions. I didn’t know what that meant until I started being in labor, and you could definitely do that. The book also suggested “spiraling” into the pain which was actually a pretty cool experience.
Up until this point, I was still unsure if wanted an epidural or not. My contractions would be consistent and our tracking app would tell us to go to the hospital, then I would go like 20-30 minutes without a contraction, so that added to the decision making.
I had been wanting to do a natural birth, but weeks before I set a limit for myself of 24 hours of labor and then I’d get an epidural; I had friends who said they were just exhausted from contractions once they got to the pushing part, and they wish they would have just gotten an epidural earlier. Guess what? I at this point I had already gone way over 24 hours (Sunday at 11:30pm to Thursday at 1am). I had a hard time deciding what I would do; I wanted the birth experience to be empowering, and I only heard about it feeling empowering from women who had natural births. I also realized that there was a part of me that wanted to be part of this womanhood group that had birthed naturally. I finally asked myself, “If no one ever found out what choice I made, what would I do?” That’s when I decided that getting an epidural would be okay. But I was still unsure of what I wanted to do – when do I go to the hospital?
I was standing in our bedroom and a really long contraction came. I leaned against the wall, breathed, moaned, hummed. It was the worst construction I’d had. I shared my hands like I was shaking water off, but none of these were helping. Jeremy was sitting on our bed, and in the middle of the contraction I told Jeremy that I want to go to the hospital. I wanted some pain relief! I couldn’t handle the pain anymore. It felt white hot.
A way Jeremy exceeded my expectations was how amazing he was during labor. I was unsure how he would react to me being in pain, and if he would jump in to help or just quietly sit back and let me do my thing. While I moaned he would lay next to me in bed while I got through a contraction. He was extremely involved. He was always telling me how strong I was, and he would come sit with me during contractions. He took his job of timing my contractions very seriously, and he was always happy to talk to nurses on the phone when I was laboring at home and we had questions. He really was a “lion” in that he protected me and made sure all situations were as they should be. He was such a huge emotional support for me. It meant so much to me that he would tell me he was proud of me, too. I loved him even more because of my experience with the contractions.
Thursday (June 22, 2017):
Once we got to the hospital around 1am, they put me in a triage room. After asking me lots of questions and putting some monitors on me, they measured me to see how far I was dilated. I was nervous I wasn’t going to be dilated enough and they would send me home (like my friend Kelsey – they wouldn’t admit her a bunch of times and kept sending her home). Luckily I was at 3.5cm and they admitted me! I got the epidural as soon as I could. And let me tell you – I have never slept as good in my whole life!! They tried to convince me to not get an epidural just yet but I insisted. I earned that epidural over the last three days!!
I had just gotten an epidural in this photo (I don’t think it had fully taken affect yet) and was settling into the labor and delivery room. Jeremy was the best lion out there!
Erin was our first labor and delivery nurse. She was so awesome! She was way helpful – she would give me lots of information and gives me a heads up about things that may happen and how the staff would handle them so I knew what was going on. I always felt like I was up to speed with her on shift, and she always took the time to explain things to me. On top of that, she is hilarious! She was telling us about a patient whose tattoo was right in the spot where the OB had to make the incision for a c-section, and the doctor had to see the words back together. She was the perfect nurse for me, exactly the person I needed to make me feel calm and confident.
Me in labor, finally sleeping after being in labor for days. Praise the maker of epidurals!
It’s probably hard to tell, but the above photo is me! They put a peanut ball between my legs and had me lay on my side. They would flip me from side to side every few hours to get the epidural evenly distributed since apparently it works by gravity. But as funny as I look in this picture, I was so comfortable!! I first went to sleep at 3am. I woke up a bit later and I was at 7 cm! I went back to sleep and woke up around 9am and I was at 9.5cm! It was awesome to sleep through the contractions; I’m sure that my body appreciated the rest and could work more effectively because of it. When we kept calling the nurse at labor and delivery, they told us not to come in because my contractions would be regular, then have a long pause, then be regular again. Interestingly enough, they kept doing that up to 7cm – but they were still doing something! (Also, bringing eye masks was the best Pinterest tip I’ve ever gotten!! They saved our lives while in the hospital!!)
My big beautiful belly with all the monitors hooked up.
Amanda was our second labor and delivery nurse. She was so amazing! She was actually the person we kept talking to on the phone when we kept calling labor and delivery, wondering if we could come in. She was way nice, always ready to bring me jello or turn off some machine that was beeping and we didn’t know why. I started feeling some pain through my epidural, and the button for more epidural medicine wasn’t working. I kept pushing it, and the nurse on call while Amanda was on a break came in and kind of made me feel dumb when she was like, “You’ve pushed it thirty times in the last hour.” (Yeah, I know – it’s not working). She didn’t really do anything to help. When Amanda got back from her break, she suggested we try pushing instead of trying to get more medicine because I was 9.5 cm dilated. She got me all set up and jeremy held one leg while she held the other. She put her hand in me and pushed the little lip of the cervix aside to see if we could just try and have the baby! Luckily it worked and we were on our way! It was funny because when I was pushing with just her, the contractions were still a little far apart, so we just sat around and chatted in between – it wasn’t that fast paced pushing, screaming lady that you see in the movies. She had so many good pushing tips for me. And I was surprised how empowering the pushing was! I was afraid the epidural would take away all the empowering feelings, but the pushing was way more empowering than toughing out contractions.
At the end of my labor I had a different nurse and she was not my favorite. She sounded like a military general person when she was counting to 10 so knew how long to push. During one contraction I said, “Come on baby!!” And she told me not to talk during my contractions. I thought, “I’m going to do whatever I want, this is my birth.” She made me feel like I was doing it wrong, whereas I felt like Amanda was teaching me how to push.
I wound up pushing for 3 hours. I was falling asleep in between contractions even though they were only 30 seconds apart. I was so thirsty but they only let you drink water. I threw up during labor once too. The midwife noticed my lips were really dry, and she asked the nurse to check my IV. It turns out the IV was pinches so I wasn’t getting liquid. They fixed it, I got my second wind and boom! JJ was born.
At a recent class, we got the idea from another couple that Jeremy could catch the baby. He was a little unsure at first, but as the birth approached he was totally on board. He got to wear scrubs and after the baby’s head came out he grabbed the slippery little guy and handed him to me. It was seriously amazing!!
When they handed me JJ for the first time, I could not keep from crying. It was the most beautiful moment. I just felt so much love for him – he is MY baby!! I wish I could describe the feeling but I can’t. I love this little boy!! The best way to describe that feeling was just emotion. I HAD to cry. It was like the spirit of Elijah, an intense, emotional feeling.
This is the nurse that was helping us out. this is the first time I got to hold JJ!
JJ didn’t cry when he was born. I think he was in shock from being squeezed for three days. He was pink and breathing okay, and his startle reflex was good. The pediatric nurse was so nice, and she was very calm. She took him away to a table to make sure he was okay. She stayed late on her shift because she wanted to see JJ when he was born, which made me feel so good.
It makes sense that JJ took his time getting here; throughout his life thus far he does things on his own time frame but he always accomplishes them – rolling over, sitting up, walking etc. He often has the ability to do that developmental milestone but he just does it on his own time frame when he’s ready.
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